The Pregnancy Productivity Axis

As life changes go there’s nothing more monumental than the arrival of a baby into the family.  Having recently given birth to our second little boy, I’m not sure that the equation of double the trouble is quite true in our case, but it’s fairly safe to say that your life (let alone your work life!) will never be the same again.  The juggling act has entered the big leagues!

In terms of pregnancy itself, it’s widely recognised that many women enjoy being pregnant and its positive side effects (the stereotypical “blooming”) but I am sorry to say that I am not one of those women.  For me (both times) being pregnant was uncomfortable, and with a string of unsavoury side-effects to try the resolve of any normal person.  Of course, there’s the promise of a lovely baby to look forward to at the end, but other than that the list of pregnancy pros and cons is a miserable one:

Disadvantages of being pregnant (not exhaustive)
Sickness
Weight gain
Lethargy
Acid reflux
Haemorrhoids
Stretch Marks
Water retention
Inability to reach toes
Wedding ring no longer fits

Advantages of being pregnant
No periods
Hair no longer falls out in the shower

Being pregnant a second time around (despite having the toddler to look after) for me resulted in a period of reduced productivity due to feeling sick and downright rotten, which is what gave me the idea for this particular blog.  Plans I had for Cosycat went on to the back burner as any hope of me getting things done generally went swiftly out of the window.  Being self-employed as I am I was lucky enough not to have the challenge and pressure of getting to a place of work for a set time each day whilst feeling awful.  But I found myself thinking about the impact of pregnancy per se on productivity and what better way to represent this than with a #DaveGorman -style geek graph:

The spike of activity was for me represented by finishing a decorating project in my house which I completed on the day I went full-term.  (Yes all advice was dutifully ignored and I was up a ladder for much of the project!)  Didn’t stop me sawing pieces of wood with a circular saw either, as one does.  Not to mention going out to procure said wood whilst pregnant and various timber merchant staff looking at me like I had three heads – as if I would know what to do with decorative mouldings!  Thank you to Cain Brothers of Swadlincote for taking me seriously, despite being a woman in a timber merchants, and being pregnant!  I may as well have been a bloke in overalls.  (This was I hasten to add during the return to normal productivity.)

As well as finding pregnancy less than fun and less than productive, it’s a time for generally feeling the size and shape of a whale, necessitating the almost daily wearing of leggings and other ‘comfortable’ and decidedly un-sexy clothing.  In my family, we have what has evolved into a Maternity Clothing Sharing Scheme, with clothes being passed around all of the female siblings and sisters-in-law (and luckily we’re all a similar sort of size).  It’s a scheme that I have massively benefitted from, being just about the last to have babies, and so I inherited a varied collection of items to accommodate my ever-expanding form.  This included a black wrap dress which due to its multiple use at formal events earned it the nickname of the ‘breastfeeding funeral dress’ (worn for at least three funerals and a wedding!).

Let’s face it, it’s not the most glamorous time of life (as I mused whilst cringing at my own reflection in a Marks and Spencer’s changing room during a recent nursing bra-fitting session).  Having spent several months unable to see my lower body (or reach my feet!) I was looking forward to getting back into some ‘normal’ clothes (although I will be confined to nursing clothing for some time yet).  The purpose of the visit to M&S was to take some positive steps to mitigate this.  Pleased as I was to inherit a number of bras through the MCSS, their constant use by me alone for 2 years had rendered them even less sexy than they would otherwise have been, and it was time to take action to give my pregnancy-ravaged body a leg-up!  Imagine then my further disappointment at my failure to squeeze into my so-called ‘fat jeans’ that were relegated prior to pregnancy due to weight loss rendering them baggy and huge like a sack-of-potatoes.  “Just hang onto those,” my husband said (obviously in secret possession of a magic crystal ball).  “They may come in handy after the birth.”  Except even they were too small.  Groan.

The glamour of being a parent of small children was in my case further enhanced with a preparing-for-the-arrival-of-baby purchase of incontinence mats from Amazon to line baby’s crib and pushchair.  I couldn’t quite believe my eyes when I saw “Gift wrap options available” at the online check-out.  Call me pedantic, dear Amazon, but that’s surely not a ‘gift’ that anyone wants?!?  But jokes aside now the reduction in glamour through having babies has in my case turned out to be inversely proportionate to the increase in joy.  Baby number 2 is a dream come true (not to mention a handy Cosycat model!), although I think I’m a little while off the return to normal productivity.

Aimee Flower is the founder of Cosycat Baby Gifts, a part-time translator, a full-time mummy of two (and cat mummy of three), and regularly volunteers with her local NCT branch.  Diary of a Mumpreneur has been guest featured by Bump, Baby & You.  See their feature of this blog here.